We are often forthright personalities to begin with….
we tend to drop a lot of ego and shame along the way.
This will tell you what their level of spiritual development is, and how they will react when you spot their lessons and point them out.
Be brutal about something to test how open they are to honesty.
It’s very easy to love someone else’s kids when you’re snuggled up on the couch, snogging with the person you see as the potential love of your life.
It’s however not so easy to love those kids when everything you earn is being paid over to your partner’s ex for spousal and child support every month.
Don’t make excuses, give them second chances and try to find reasons why.
Be a little belligerent to see if they can hold their own.Think about all the areas of your life that are important to you and decide what your limits are in each area - and what you’re negotiable on.Here is a whole set of worksheets to help you with the process: Once you’ve compiled your list, you’ll have a very clear idea of what you are looking for.Know which elements are crucial for you - your hard limits - and understand which elements you are willing to be more flexible on. If there is something that you feel strongly about (like your partner must have a spiritual side), and you fall in love, it’s very easy to write it off to "opposites attract", because the “high” of being in love makes you willing to gloss over it.However, when that in love feeling wears off, and real life sets in, the things that are hard limits are going to come back, because they were hard limits for a reason.